Thursday, September 21, 2006

BLOODY FOOL, HOW UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!

Well it finally hit me fair and square right in the face!!! i am definitely homesick. i woke up yesterday morning all prepared for my usual late shift ritual, tea and fag, shower, TV and then off to travel. Yeah but stupidly i put on the TV just in time to see steve urwins daughter bindy reading her eulogy(is that how you spell it?) suddenly the heavens opened and i was crying like a baby!!! i turned the tv off jumped into the shower but it just wouldnt bloody stop!!! i bubbled like an idiot all the way to work. i managed to compose myself to get started but then a patients wife said 'are you ok? you look a little down today' well it bloody started again!!!!! HOW UNPROFESSIONAL! luckily the woman is from england and has only been here for a few years so she totally understood. she took me in her arms and gave me a much needed cuddle. now the man is very ill and i am supposed to be supporting them but here i am crying like a baby in a strangers arms!!!!! not a good look for work, all foundation and mascara streaked with red swollen eyes!!!! now its not that i dont love our new lives over here, its beautiful, work is great and we love it but we sooooooooooooooooooooo miss our family! you know the saying you never know what you've got til its gone???? well there is no more just jumping in the car and five minutes later we are in dads drinking tea. its a 19 hour flight at best now!!! and a lot bloody more expensive than the petrol from cornhill to sheddocksley. no more do we get texts from kenny saying kettle on? no more would the kids like to come for the weekend? from phyllis and stuart. no seeing mark, jackie and the kids on a sunday, no mega text messages from my chummy saying you fancy lunch at murdos or fancy the bells! in fact the kids seem to have settled better than me! i thought i had it all sussed, managed to keep the tears to a minimum when leaving, just didnt let myself think of the distance. well we've all got mobiles and internet wi web cams havent we??????!!!!!! thank god for mobiles! i text dad cos i needed some contact and he sent me a lovely reply, telling me how proud he is of me and michael, that he misses us too and that he will see us next year. i have never loved a text message more as i did then. sitting in the smoking pergola at work sobbing like a fool!!! well i suppose the pretence is finally up, i do have a heart, sorry to disappoint those who were betting it was a swinging brick!!!!

4 comments:

Holly said...

ahh bless you, you just made me cry too!! When you feel down, just think of the reason why you made the move and that should cheer you right up. x

shazza said...

thanks folks, ended up giving myself a migraine and had to stay off work yesterday. wouldnt have been any use anyway, bubbling and greeting like a boody fool. feel sooo embarrassed, have to face everyone at work today!!!!! yes mark maybe one day eh? chummy miss the drama of your on/off love life as well!!! soozy am spacing the twirls out, have to make them last!!!!! pity i wasnt there to see kay and gemma on the floor that would have been funny, would make a change from me and you eh!

Nat said...

Ah, I wondered when it would come....

It's normal to feel crappy at first.

I think the three month mark is about right too. It happened to me when all the festivals were happening. Chin up bird. It'll get better. This place is fantastic and remember you're seeing it at it's worst. It'll never be more miserable than this!

Just think, them back there are just bearing up for winter when we're choosing bikinis to lounge around in for the next eight months!!!

It's hard to keep up the 'feeling sorry for yourself' thing when it's a gorgeous day and the birds are singing. I promise!

Love ya matey xxx

PS I had to turn off the telly when Bindy came on too!

aky said...

so shaz you do have a heart {ha-ha} was only a matter of time i suppose tell michael to greet as well to make you feel better, you would have liked our day out on sun 20 cocket hat punters spilling out onto union street outside bells fighting like thugs now im not a violent man but 48hrs before i go to spain with alan i was going to break his legs the evils of drink i suppose hope you feel better soon and you still have xmas to come hello to everyone , im off to malaga in 10hrs at last c ya x